you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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