Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I can tuck mytits in my pants
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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