I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
