I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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