Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
