I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
it hurts more in the daytime
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
