this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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