Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
