oh god the rape fog is back!
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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