Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
