I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
