He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
