It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
