I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
