I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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