I could make wine with my vomit
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize