so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
