dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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