He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
