great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
