is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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