oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
