her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
