I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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