ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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