Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
