just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
