I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I just blew my weed a kiss
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
