Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
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Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
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Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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