If that was your dad, he is hot
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
