I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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