I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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