i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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