Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
