Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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