What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
