the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
