Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
