Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
