I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
