All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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