Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
