this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
