She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
