I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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