Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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