Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize