I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
