I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Found the puke drawer
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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