ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
