Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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