Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
When did angry sex become our thing?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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