I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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