i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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