What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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