my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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