he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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