If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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