I wannas sexs uuuuu
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I wear drunk well.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
