70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize