M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
where am i from again
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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