try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
