i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
