Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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