This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
