new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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