We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
you made out with another girl for some wings
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
